New House Blog: Episode VI - The Battle Of The Stump

Welcome to a particularly action-packed Episode, where you will hear the thrilling tale of The Battle Of The Stump.  Along the way you will be introduced to the heroes of the battle and hear the thrilling tale of action and intrigue (action, anyway - not sure about the intrigue).  But before we get to the glorious battle we will share the story of our trip to the Sanitary Landfill (formerly known as the dump).

The Sanitary Landfill

It started out as most days, with the rising of the sun.  We did not get up with the rising of the sun, but the day started anyway.  We eventually got up and, driving a truck borrowed from my awesome brother, Mike, went to our house to haul away the pile of debris (as seen in this post) for good.  The pile was a mixture of mostly wood, with some PVC, some galvanized pipe (I got to use an electric pipe cutter), some concrete, some barbed wire, a muffler, a rusty barbecue grill, and some other miscellaneous stuff.  We loaded the truck and set off for the Zanker Road Sanitary Landfill (it is the closest landfill to the house).  Here is a picture of the loaded truck just inside the entrance to the landfill, in the de-tarping area.

After de-tarping we drove up to the weigh/inspection station and waited for the attendant to grant us access.  It was a tense few seconds as he disinterestedly scrutinized our load, but in the end he let us pass unhindered.  We drove up a short hill, picked an empty spot, and started tossing our junk.  And I do mean tossing.  The rusty barbecue grill did not seem to want to leave us, however.  After being tossed onto the pile it rolled back down to the truck, as if to say, "Don't leave me!"  We ignored its pitiful plea and tossed it even further.  It accepted its fate and made no more attempts to return to us.  

Because of the time, and a full schedule, we did not stay at the landfill to browse for any second-hand items.

The Battle Of The Stump

Before we get to the battle let us introduce you to the three.  Here they are, in picture form.

The three, left to. right: Longspade, Shorty, Spike

You've heard of Longspade ere now in the post about black widows, but the other two are new to this blog.

It started with the debris pile we found on the side of the house.  Of all of the items in the pile the tree stump intrigued me the most.  Second-most intriguing to me was the used muffler.  Back in the corner of two fences stood the tree stump, and we could not tell if it was simply a stump that had been leaned up against the fence or if it was actually a rooted remnant of a tree that used to grow in that spot.  After clearing away the rubble pile we discovered the awful truth - it was the latter, the remnants of a tree that had grown there and had died and been mostly cut down but which still retained its roots.  We knew that a battle was coming, and we gathered the troops - Longspade, Shorty, and Spike.  

The battle began.

The first to be sent in was Longspade, and it fought valliantly in the dirt, probing and exposing some of the roots of the tree.  Next to join the battle was Shorty.  It probed deeper and got into places where Longspade could not fit.  Before continuing the tale I have to ask: am I the only one whose garden tools have names?  Longspade and Shorty continued to probe the stump for additional roots and weaknesses, but ere long they had reached the end of what they could do without further assistance.  We discovered that there were four main roots, much as a compass has four points.  These roots did not line up with the compass points, but they did radiate away from the tree at approximately ninety-degree intevals, as do the four main points on a compass.  Two of the roots were relatively easily accessible, but roots three and four were going to be a challenge.  Into battle charged Spike, and after a brief skirmish we had severed root number one.  The second root put up a stronger fight, but it, too, succumbed to the relentless attack from Spike.  Spike tried to attack root number three, but there was just not enough room between the tree and the fence for Spike to be effective.  The fourth root extended under the other fence and into the front yard.  A new recruit would have to be brought in to the battle. This is how things stood at the end of the first day of battle.  Below is the stump after the first day of battle.

After a day of battle

Sadly, we had to wait an extra day to rejoin the battle, and thusly the second day of battle was actually the third day since the battle had begun.  We borrowed an ax from Mike and returned to the house and the site of battle.  Instead of jumping right in with a direct attack we did some reconnaissance on the front-yard side of the fence and we discovered the location and relative strength of root number three.  Longspade and Shorty were instrumental in said reconnaissance (there's got to be a better way to spell that word).  After some initial probing and weakening from Spike, the ax went into action (it is unnamed because it is borrowed).  The root made a strong defense, but it could not resist the continued blows from the ax.  We now had three of four roots severed and we knew it was just a matter of time before we had conquered all four roots.  Back into the main battlefield in the back yard we went, and the ax's thinner head was able to fit into the narrow space and make short work of root number four.  After that it took but a little twisting and pulling and the stump came free.  Sweet victory!

Below you can see the defeated stump and the borrowed ax that was instrumental in bringing it down. Also to be seen is the fence corner where the stump used to be.

The defeated stump and the victorious ax

The former home of the stump

Our thanks to my awesome brother, Mike, for the use of the truck, the electric pipe cutter, the wheel barrow, and the ax.

Join us again soon for our next exciting adventure.

Anyone got an ax to grind?

   bIsh