T And C, And A Bunch Of Other Letters

Before we get into the actual content of this post, I think it worthwhile to do a small review regarding what this blog has been about, in case some of you have forgotten (since it's been so long since I've posted anything new).  Primarily I have been using this blog to write about goings on at our New House (New House Bog), with the occasional annual write-up about our Christmas-time trips.  This will be the latter, a write-up about our most recent Christmas-time trip.  Don't worry though; I have new material in my head for the New House Blog, just waiting for the right time to be written.  On to the trip and high adventure!

A Is For American Airlines, And Augh!

We were the second-to-last couple to leave the Providenciales International Airport (MBPV), in the British Overseas Territory of Turks And Caicos, and it was American Airlines' fault.  Things started out smoothly enough at some pre-sunrise hour when we got up and schlepped off to San Jose International Airport (SJC) for the first leg of our flight to Turks and Caicos (T&C).  The flight from SJC to Dallas Fort Worth International Airport (DFW) left on time and was smooth and trouble-free.  We arrived at DFW in plenty of time to locate our gate and wait for our flight to Miami International Airport (MIA), and we were scheduled to have a layover of about two hours in Miami before our final flight to MBPV.  Our boarding time came and went, with no boarding and no explanation.  So we waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited some more.  But they kept not allowing us to board the plane.  And our two-hour layover in Miami kept shrinking and shrinking.  While we were waiting we got to listen to the gate attendant mangle countless names of people on standby.  At the time it seemed absurd that someone who deals with a lot of names on a daily basis should be terrible at pronouncing names.  Finally, about two hours after our scheduled boarding time we were allowed to board.  It was an older plane - a 757 with the old-style tv screens fixed to the ceiling.  After the plane was boarded and ready to go a flight attendant got on the PA and explained the delay - the vital, all-important, essential-to-fly-the-plane entertainment system was broken, and they had spent the past two hours trying to fix the system, and then trying to decide if they should cancel the flight! or fly to Miami with no entertainment system. Seriously?  Would they really cancel a flight just because the entertainment system wasn't working?  Is that really an option, American?  Maybe you could acquire some newer planes so that we wouldn't have these kinds of situations?

The actual flight to Miami, when it finally got underway, was smooth and uneventful. However, we were so far behind schedule that our planned two-hour layover completely disappeared.  In Miami we de-planed, walked over to the next-door gate, and boarded our plane for the final leg to Providenciales.  I've never done that before, and it was nice to not have to wait, but we also did not have time to get food or use the facilities.  The flight to MBPV was smooth and uneventful, and we were among the first to de-plane and line up at the luggage carousel to await our checked bags.  And we waited and waited, until at last the carousel stopped without ever disgorging our two lovely checked bags that contained our clothes.  MBPV is a small airport, and it was late at night, so we had to look around to find someone to assist us, but we finally were told that we would have to file a claim at American Airlines in the main terminal.  After completing our trip through T&C immigration control (another hassle involving a disppearing agent and rejected red ink) we found the American Airlines line and waited behind about 4 other couples, and at some point another couple ended up waiting in line behind us.  And we waited and waited some more.  It seems like it took the agent about 15 minutes per couple to locate bags and have them routed to hotels.  Fifteen minutes waiting in a hot, humid airport terminal with all of the ceiling fans sitting idle.  And we waited some more.  Finally it was our turn, and the agent told us that our luggage was still in Miami, and it would come over on the 2pm flight the next day.  He asked for our hotel information and assured us that it would be delivered to our hotel by 5pm the next day.  So now it's around 10pm, local time, and we've been travelling all day, and we're hot, sweaty, tired, and hungry, and our luggage (with clean clothes) won't be arriving until 5pm the next day. We found a ride to our hotel (with the help of an airport worker), and we found food near our hotel, but clothes were going to be a problem.  We had a Vespa tour scheduled for 9am the next day, and we didn't want to wear our sweaty, dirty flying clothes for the tour, and our sunscreen was in our checked bags.  What choice did we have?  We had to get up earlier than planned and walk to a local dive shop to buy over-priced clothes and sunscreen for the day.

Is this the plane with our luggage?

Our luggage did arrive the next day, and eventually American Airlines compensated us for the full price of our over-priced clothes and sunscreen.

Our return flights were a bit better, but there were more delays.  The itinerary was Providenciales (MBPV) to Miami (MIA), Miami to Chicago (ORD), Chicago to San Jose (SJC), and I think it was the flight to Chicago that caused our first delay.  We boarded the plane on time, and the doors closed, and then we waited.  And waited some more.  Finally, the pilot addressed us over the PA and explained that the airplane had had some recent maintenance, but they couldn't find the log book, and we couldn't fly without that maintenance log book.  D'oh!  Just one more example of American Airlines' incompetence!  Eventually we did get the log book and we did make it to Chicago in time for our flight to SJC.  When we arrived at SJC there was more waiting and delay.  We landed and taxied almost to the terminal, then we stopped and sat. Eventually the pilot addressed us, via the PA, and explained that another American Airlines plane was at our gate, and we had to wait for it to get out of the way.  So even at the very end of our trip we had to sit around and wait because of American Airlines.  And American's instructional/safety videos were not very interesting or engaging.

V Is For Vespa

Our first scheduled activity for our first day on Providenciales, Turks and Caicos, was a guided island tour via Vespa scooters - a Vespa tour.  Some background information might be helpful before we go on with the tour.  Turks and Caicos is a British Overseas Territory, not an independent country, in the Caribbean.  T&C is made up of two island groups - the Turks Islands and the Caicos Islands.  The main, most populous island is Providenciales.

The islands get less populous as one moves eastward from Providenciales. The center of government is wisely located far away on the eastern-most island of Grand Turk.  Our hotel on Providenciales was the Ports of Call, and there is a small plaza next to the hotel that contains some shops (including a dive shop that opens at 8am), some restaurants, and an ice cream shop.

Back to the tour now.  We had to get up earlier than planned so that we would have time to visit the afore-mentioned dive shop to get some over-priced shorts, t-shirts, and sunscreen for our Vespa tour.  The Vespa tour office is located about 1/4 mile from the hotel, within easy walking distance, and right next door to another ice cream shop.  Our tour guide was Ann, and the three of us were joined by another tourist - a tall man from Florida (we never did learn his name).  Since none of us tourists had ever ridden a Vespa, we spent some time puttering around the parking lot area learning the basics of controlling the machines, and I broke my first Vespa the very first time I tried to lower the kickstand.

The broken kickstand

I did learn to properly use the kickstand on my second Vespa, and we were off. Driving on T&C is done on the left side of the road, and there were a couple of times when pulling out of parking lots that I pulled into the right (but wrong) side of the road simply from habit.  Vespas, it turns out, are great fun for gadding about on an island doing casual touring.

Our first tour stop was at a large hotel/resort so that we could see their gazebo and learn about the former premier, Michael Misick. He used several million dollars of government money to build himself a mansion within sight of said gazebo, and his government was so corrupt that he was forced to resign, and the UK suspended T&C's constitution and self-government until the corruption could be rooted out. Michael fled the country and was eventually extradited back to T&C from Brazil.  He is currently under island arrest (he can't leave Providenciales) as his cases work their way through the courts.  The mansion has since been sold to a private citizen, the corruption has been done away with, the constitution and self-government have been reinstated, and elections have been held.  In fact, a new premier was elected only days before our arrival in Providenciales.  Ann says that she knows Michael Misick, and she sees him around sometimes (it's a small island), and that he is apparently quite the ladies' man.

Our next stop was the Conch Farm.  Before we continue I have to explain a couple of pronunciations.  First, "conch" is pronounced "conk," or, "conq."  Second, "cay" is pronounced "key."  The Conch Farm is a commercial conch farm - they grow and breed conch for commercial purposes, and to prevent the queen conch from going extinct due to overfishing.  Recently, the Conch Farm has branched out into commercial fish farming, and our Conch Farm tour guide mentioned that American restaurants will pay high prices for their farmed fish.

A young queen conch

Jerry, the trained conch

After our next stop at a beach, we continued on to a small environmental center, a brief visit to a scenic overlook in Ann's grandmother's neighborhood (apparently Prince had a house there), and on to our lunch stop at Da Conch Shack.  Here I should mention that I had conch almost every single day in T&C, and my favorite conch was served at Da Conch Shack.

W Is For Wham!

I saw the whole thing happen even before it happened, and there was nothing I could do to stop it, or to warn those involved of what was coming.  It was a steep, downhill roundabout, and we were going to circle a quarter of the way around it clockwise then continue down the road with our adventure.  We had been riding down the road in a kind of staggered pattern - Ann on the right side of the lane, followed by Becky on the left side of the lane, followed by me on the right side of the lane, followed by the tall Floridan on the left side of the lane.  Ann entered the roundabout and slowed slightly.  Becky tried to slow, but still being not 100% confident of the controls she grabbed both the throttle and the brake at the same time.  It was painful to watch, but I was powerless to do anything but watch.  Becky's Vespa lurched forward a few times, then - WHAM!!! - right into the back of Ann's Vespa.  It was a direct hit - dead center and straight on.  Ann and her Vespa kind of bounced up into the air, her Vespa fell to the left, and Becky's Vespa fell to the right.  I arrived at the scene of the carnage a few seconds later and brought my Vespa successfully to a safe stop. Fluids were leaking everywhere. Fortunately, it was just gas and oil from Ann's Vespa, which was broken and out of commission.  Ann and Becky escaped the incident with just some bruising and road rash.  Me, the Floridan, and a helpful passing motorist removed Ann's Vespa, and its broken parts, from the road, and Ann applied disinfectant and bandaids as appropriate.  She then called the shop to report the incident (and the location of the broken scooter), commandeered Becky's scooter, and we were off again, with Becky riding shotgun behind Ann.  Something that might have taken hours to resolve in the US, involving paperwork, witnesses, insurance agencies, police, etc, was over and done with in less than 10 minutes.

P Is For Power

Sometime in the wee hours of our first night in T&C we were awakened by a bright light in our hotel room, and we noticed that the digital clock and AC were not working.  The bright light was coming from a bulb in the ceiling above the door, and it was shining right into our eyes as we were trying to sleep.  I called the front desk to report the situation, and was told that it was an island-wide power outtage, the light was an emergency light, and it could not be turned off.  D'oh!  Somehow we eventually got to sleep despite the bright light shining directly onto our retinas, and we didn't have any more power issues after that night.

K Is For Kayak

As we like to do when we are visiting islands, we thought it might be fun to do some kayaking from the beach.  T&C has some great beaches, and the water is clean and clear.  There is a nice beach about 5 minutes' walk from our hotel, the Ports of Call, and there is kayaking equipment on the beach for Ports of Call guests to use.  It was rather windy that day, and the sea was a bit choppy, but I decided to brave the wind and chop and do some kayaking.  Becky opted to stay on the beach and relax.  She may have made the better choice.  The choppy sea and constant wind conspired to take the fun from my kayaking and turn it into hard work.  I had to paddle hard just to not be blown downwind from my starting point, and it was even harder to make actual headway and paddle upwind.  Added to this was the fact that my kayak kept getting swamped and flooded by waves.  I only stayed out for about 30 minutes, then I spent some time just swimming in the ocean before joining Becky in relaxing on the beach.

I Is For Ice Cream

After our beach time we walked to the nearby Giggles Ice Cream & Candy Parlour for some ice cream. We also had ice cream at another lovely ice cream shop (not the same day, of course).








T Is For Treasure Hunt

On Christmas Eve we went on the Discovery Tour & Treasure Hunt, provided and guided by Caribbean Crusin'.

This is basically a tour of North and Middle Caicos, with several stops at points of interest and two rides on the TCI Ferry (also apparently run by Carribean Cruisin').  Our guide for the day, Charles, met us at the dock in North Caicos after our first ride on the TCI Ferry, and he proved to be a treasure trove of information and history.

Crusin' to North Caicos

Our first stop on North Caicos was Wade's Green Plantation, originally known as Bellefield. Cotton and sisal were grown at Wade's, and it should be noted that Charles pronounced the word "sisal" as "syssal."  Sisal, as you may know, is used for making ropes and mats and other such textiles, and according to Charles it is/was a long and itchy process to harvest the sissal fibers and make them into something useful.  Many slaves were brought to Wade's, and other island plantations, and after the British abolition of slavery many of the freed slaves took the names of their taskmasters.  Sadly, records of the origins of these people were not generally kept, and today the descendants of these former slaves can only trace their ancestry back as far as the plantations.

The plantation is a beautiful area, with ruins of many stone buildings and a lot of trees and vegetation growing in the former fields.  There are still cotton and sisal plants around (growing wild), and some lemon grass (also known as fever grass).  Among the buildings we visited were the great house, where Wade and his family lived, the kitchen, with a two-sided fireplace, and the overseer's house, where Wade's brother and family lived.  A stone's throw from the overseer's house was the slave quarters where newly-acquired slaves were introduced and acclimated to their new surroundings.

Our next stop was the Flamingo Pond, but the flamingos were not cooperating, and they remained out of sight.  We then drove through the community of Bottle Creek, and then to a waterfront area with a pier and several small buildings. Charles said that a large event was happening there that night (Christmas Eve), and that a lot of people and food would be there.  He also pointed out the pine trees growing up and down the coast, and mentioned that they are Australian Pines, an aggressive, invasive species.

On the waterfront

After the quick stop at the waterfront we drove over the causeway to Middle Caicos, and then to Conch Bar Caves, which is a series of interconnected bat caves.  After communing with the bats, and surviving an "attack" by said bats, we drove on to Mudjin Bar and Grill for conch for lunch.  After lunch we spent some time at the local beach, which offers some great views and has its own cay, Dragon cay.

Dragon Cay

After our beach time we drove all the way back to the TCI Ferry depot on North Caicos and returned to Providenciales and our hotel.







T Is For Turtle

On Christmas Day we took the Snorkel And Conch Cruise, provided by Caicos Dream Tours.  Our captain for the day was Captain Buff, but I don't recall the names of the other two crew members.  We began the cruise by being shuttled to the departure beach in a van.  After filling out the appropriate waiver and picking up or snorkeling gear we boarded the boat, along with about 16 other people, and set off for a grand time.  Our first stop was at the reef, several hundred yards offshore, for some snorkeling.  Becky doesn't snorkel, but I jumped right in (after attaching the mandatory flotation belt) and had a blast swimming among the fishies.  And then it happened - my turtle showed up.

For many years I had been wanting to see a sea turtle in the wild, so this was a real highlight of our trip.  He showed up out of the blue and swam about for a few minutes before fading off into the distance.




I Is For Iguana Hunt

Our next stop was on a small island for some iguana hunting while the crew prepared some fresh conch for lunch.  Becky and I hunted those wild iguanas and we found quite a few just hanging out under the Australian Pines.  Fortunately, the island was big enough that the entire load of passengers had plenty of room to spread out and hunt on their own.

We also found plenty of little stickers for our feet and sandals - stickers that would stick us initially in our feet or sandals, then stick us again in our fingers as we tried to pluck them from our injured flesh.  You definitely want some closed-toed sandals if you visit this island.  After some time romping on Iguana Island it was back on the boat for lunch and some leisurely cruising.

Lunch consisted of deli-style sandwiches chips, and fresh conch salad.  Said conch salad was merely some fresh raw conch and dices tomatoes.  We don't do raw conch or diced tomatoes, so we skipped the "salad" and had some sandwiches and chips.

R Is For Rum Punch

And now we get to the part of the trip that you've all been waiting for - my annual drink of Rum.  After lunch, while we were cruising the Caribbean, I got myself a rum punch.  This particular rum punch was a bit strong with the rum, but a splash of Mountain Dew mellowed it out nicely.  After being deposited back on our local beach we spent a lazy Christmas afternoon doing nothing in particular.

F Is For Fine Dining

We ate while visiting Turks & Caicos.  Some of the highlights are below.
 - Conch at Da Conch Bar - best conch I ate
 - Watching people mangle songs on karaoke night at Danny Buoys
 - Goat stew, giant tacos, and meeting Chef Nik at Crackpot Kitchen
 - Conch pizza in the garden at Bella Luna
 - Ice cream
 - Stuffed pizza at Miami International Airport
 - Absolutely packed deli meat sandwiches from the supermarket across the street from our hotel.  These were big, giant sandwiches, heated and compressed into an edible size.  The deli person took several minutes to prepare each sandwich, but they were worth the wait.

T Is For TSA

I suppose I can't blame American Airlines for this, but I wish I could.  On our return trip we had to go through US Immigration Control, which is standard procedure when re-entering the States, and we also had to retrieve and re-check our checked bags and go through security again, which is also standard procedure.  I suppose, in hindsight, that it was my fault.  After I entered the security scanner I shifted my position a little bit, and this apparently upset the machine and set off all sorts of alerts.  The TSA officer who saw those alerts had to pat me down and wand me. So far so good.  But then he swabbed my hands and put those swabs into a little device and more alerts went off, which meant that I would get the full security treatment. D'oh!  I knew I was safe, but apparently the little device that read my had swabs thought it found traces of some kind of banned chemical, so the TSA pulled me aside (and Becky had to wait for me through all of this) and searched through almost every cubic centimeter of my carry-on bags.  They were very thorough, and they took swabs from several items in my bags, but they did overlook a few cubic centimeters of searchable space.  After finding nothing damning in my bags they took me into a private little room and patted me down again, and re-swabbed my hands.  This time the machines were all happy, and I and my bags were released to continue on my way.  They were very professional throughout the entire affair, and it only cost us about 10 minutes of time.

M Is For Movies

Finally, we wrap up this tale with a list of the movies watched in hotels and on planes: Kubo and the Two Strings; Big Hero Six; Mockingjay, Part One; Night at the Museum #3; The Desert Rats; The Big Friendly Giant; Duck Soup; The Third Man; O Brother, Where Art Thou?

T Is For Turtle Again

As an added bonus to really wrap up this tale, here's some genuine turtle footage that I captured.  Alternately, you can click on this link to watch it in larger format.

Happy Turtling
    bIsh